Pizza Girl- 0, Flu- 1 & the Corridor of Bros! Week 4 & 5 at the Gym 3/13/19
I’m not saying men are babies when they’re sick. I’m simply saying that I knew with a vivid certainty that my partner had the flu this last week. I tried to be accommodating and cheerful when taking care of him, because he would do that for me, but in the back of my mind I was dreading what this would mean for my newfound healthy lifestyle.
Friday the 8th, the day after my Metabolic Testing, I started going down. It was like watching a tree fall in slow motion from being axed. The sneezing started Thursday night. Then came the irritability and the stuffiness Friday morning. I let Zeus out Friday afternoon for potty, and I was even crabby with him. “No one gives a (expletive) where you take a dump, Zeus. Just (expletive) go!” I couldn’t deal with his alpha huffing and puffing at the fresh air, his pawing at the ground when a dude passed by us, his pulling at the leash. I decided to give myself a time out with some ginger tea. Maybe if I ignored these physical symptoms of illness, they’d go away. Alas, by Friday night, I was sulking on the couch with a low-grade fever.
I had to cancel my Saturday session with Becca. I had hoped I could make it, but I knew even if I got there and limped my way through whatever was on the menu, I’d be touching all the equipment, and that is just gross and inconsiderate to the other gym goers. So, I stayed home and made a big pot of Southwest Chicken Soup. I lived on that soup from Saturday to Tuesday. I drank so much water, I was like the Adriatic Sea. I gave no sh*ts about calories. It mattered not to me those four days. I just kept eating my soup. Breakfast, lunch and dinner and in between – soup.
I won’t bore you with any more details about that, because many of you have had it this year and already know what it's all about. Finally, by Wednesday, I felt back to my normal self somewhat. I attribute this fast recovery to my healthier lifestyle, the organic immunity boosters from my bestie and the Airborne I consumed while the boyfriend was ill. It wasn’t as tragic as it could have been.
Wednesday I was back on the treadmill, following the cardio workout given to me by Hunter the previous week. I’m really lucky in that my body burns fat very efficiently. I don’t have to run hard and very long before I’m in the correct zone for fat burning. In fact, I only had about 25 minutes on the treadmill in order to get major fat burning accomplished as long as I followed the walk/sprint pattern and heart-rate goals for each alternating speed. I felt like I could have run for miles and miles, that’s how good it felt to be back at the gym and moving my body. Who would have ever thought I would love going to the gym? This is one of the many things that has started to change in my mind and body.
Another thing that I’ve noticed since I’ve been going to the gym is that I’m really chatty with people. I’ve been smiling more; I’ve been talking to people and truly being present in the moment. Complete strangers are not safe from my friendliness. I’m almost nauseated by myself, but not quite. I can’t shut up. I smile at people, and I compliment people, and I mean it! I don’t know what the heck is going on with me, but I’ve decided I can’t keep fighting it, and I’ll just let it take me over. It’s like bathing in a sea of good feelings, and sometimes I almost feel high with the happiness. I guess you could argue that this is something else kicking in, and I should go get it checked out, but I think it’s the exercise and the running and the outlet for any negativity that I may be bottling up. I believe this is the way you’re supposed to feel when your LIVING life, and not getting through each day. I feel extremely lucky to be experiencing this.
I met with Becca the Beast on Friday and Saturday. Saturday, I had to laugh when I saw her. I forgot it was St. Patrick’s Day the next day. There she was, looking like a 13-year-old in pigtails on her way to a St. Patrick’s Day parade, green tutu and all. How could I take her seriously today? Would I be able to work out and not laugh the entire time? I didn’t know!!
But then, I did know, because as I followed her towards the direction of the fitness floor, she stopped at her little Becca’s Bad-Ass Baubles & Booty-Band Drawer. I’m always scared when she opens her drawer up and fishes around for things. She looked at me and smiled. “This is my drawer of secret weapons and torture devices,” she laughed, as I nervously chuckled. I swear I broke out in a sweat right there and we hadn’t even really started.
The booty band is an old frenemy of mine. It’s a thick band with not much give that you put around your legs, just up above your knees. You start with legs together, which is easy because to go anywhere takes a bit of muscle. You then side step into a squat, then legs together. You keep going to the right for about 10 side step squats. This exercise will make you sweat and burn your hips, your thighs, your glutes, your hamstrings and is very uncaring about your screaming legs. Then Becca the #Blessed makes me do 10 the opposite direction.
When we initially started, she was going to have me go down a row of space, but to my immediate hesitation, there were very fit, very beautiful guys pumping iron on each side of the pathway. “Ummm...can we go this other way instead?” I asked. Becca laughed, “Sure! You don’t want to go down the corridor of bros? No problem! Let’s go the other way!” I laughed and laughed, which makes booty banding difficult. There was no way I wanted to sweat, grimace and possibly fart from the effort going down the Corridor of Bros. Nope. No thanks. Plus, I was already sweating and I’m in my black tee shirt with the holes in it, and the bleach stain in front. No thanks to ALL of it. I may need to invest in some other gym attire. For my pride’s sake.
Planking is another one of my frenemies. Becca the Beautiful knows this, and so I assumed the position when she brought out the mat. I’m in the planking position, drops of sweat hitting the floor. Literally, drops of sweat running off my forehead, down my nose and onto the floor. They sound like raindrops to my ears, even going over the high energy music pumping through the Lifetime Fitness speakers. I’m rolling my eyes at myself for being so out of shape. Oh well. Take the good with the bad I guess, and my abs will thank me this summer.
The next thing we did was what I refer to as “slam ball.” Becca never asks me to do anything she doesn’t think I can do. Sometimes, she’ll have to help me do the exercise properly though. In this particular case, I wasn’t slamming the ball to the floor the way she needed me to. So, she stopped me, and gave me huge motivational advice. “Do you have an ex that you don’t really get along with?” Yes, Becca, yes I do. “Imagine that ball being that person, or maybe the negative feelings that are associated with that person. Now slam the heck out of it- right to the floor!” Oh boy. There it was. I started slamming that ball down- and with each slam, I felt rage and anger that I never allow myself to feel. By the time it was done, my face was red, sweat running down my face, and tears in my eyes. Who knew slamming your ex this way was SO MUCH MORE effective than slamming them on social media with your words? I usually keep my mouth shut about my ex, because- well, drama, but this was such a wonderful way to get the yells out!! Not only that, but it was therapeutic, and it did my body good. I looked at Becca after and for the first time, Becca the Beast looked a bit afraid of ME!! I loved it!!! Was I absorbing her beast mode?? Was I becoming a Gym Monster??? Sarita the SIREN!! YES mother-f-ing YES!!!!!!!
For the first time in a long while, I felt like a machine. I felt power in my body, in my mind, in my very being. It was amazing, and I held on to that for a while.
You see? Working out has so many benefits. Not all of them are going to be just physical. Some are emotional. Some will make you feel like a beast. Some will make you feel validated. Some will make you cry. Some will make you inspired. Some will surprise you by showing you the strong, determined human that you are inside!
I got through this last week of the flu and the triumphant return to the gym. I made it, and spring is on the way. The sun is more present, and I do believe we are emerging from the doldrums of winter. Isn’t this a good time to get your body moving? Take that walk, join that gym, do that workout in your living room while your cat stares at you with those condescending eyes. Just move your body. Just today. Then tomorrow, just tomorrow. Keep doing it. You’ll see that eventually- you’re living instead of existing.
XOXO, Pizza Girl